Sunday, July 27, 2008
The treasured acquaintance was made onboard a quaint Chinese junk boat bound for a trip deeper into Harlong Bay.She goes by the name of Ashleigh (Charming name eh?), crowned by a golden mane sculpted with delicately pleasing features and often dashes from one of end of the boat to the other like some psyched up sprite.
Shy at first before we warmed up to each other, her answer to most of our questions were curt but always topped with an enchanting smile. Only after spending nearly a full day together that she finally opened up to us and like a floodgate that burst forth, she buried us neck deep with her silly shenanigans, overwhelming attention as well as seemingly random chatter.
How can our hearts not be captured by one as such? One by one with me as the vanguard, we fell to her infectious charm and thereafter, spent almost the rest of our waking hours on a retrospectively short trip around her like bees drawn to a sweet smelling flower.
Even while on the tedious 3 hours journey back to Hanoi city, she was able to draw all of us out of the warm and comfortable embrace of sleep with her little silly game of pillow war (Traveling type.) which was punctured ever so often by her golden peal of a laughter.
Arh I miss her already.
Oh and by the way, didn't I mention? She's only eight.
No I'm not a pedophile. But I've thoroughly enjoyed toying with your mind.
What I'll admit is that I do love her like a younger sister. Abit uncharacteristic of me, wouldn't you say?
Talk is cheap. Time for some pictures I've sent her. (Yes, we did exchange contact afterall.)
Just me and the little ball of joy.
Me: What's a werd?
Her: A werd is a werd. Jig is a werd, werd is a werd.
Me: (Werd = Word.) ... Oh... Kay...
Getting outta water after kayaking. Before we jump right in again. =)
A chance meeting at the airport after we parted ways.
Bumping into each other again at the airport cafe.
FUNKED IT ALL UP ON 6:19:00 PM
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
I'm back on the grid again with a new phone I've laid my grubby little hands on whilst in Bangkok!
Plain as Jane.(No offense to you Jane.)
But slim as a supermodel!
Other than the fact that it's remarkably thin and reasonably light, the phone really grinds my gears.
How about I start from the fact that the default language it comes in is Thai (Wow why are you not supprised.) and I had to spent like a quarter of a day just to hit the right combinations of apparent gibberish to switch it over to English mode.
Serves me right for buying a piece techno crap from some other country, especially one that speaks a whole different language than the ones mine does eh?
Oh and did I mention how laggy it is? A minor demonstration of its processing speed (Or lack of in this case.) would be that I had to wait for nearly three seconds just to unlock the keypad! THREE FUCKING SECONDS! Seriously what is the world coming to when a man have to wait that long just to unlock his keypad?
And for kickers, the user interface is totally messed up. Can anyone explain to me why do I need to press that many a times just to get to my own freaking inbox! Why can't Samsung get its act together or just pilfer the entire setup from Nokia or Sony Erricson?
Jeez. Using the darn thing sends me into a series of fits.
Oh well. Better to die at an early age from all that excessive exasperation and stay connected than live longer as a recluse who's dissimilated from the rest of the civilised world.
FUNKED IT ALL UP ON 11:37:00 AM
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Jerk is back from jetting all over Vietnam and Thailand! Happier than ever and ready to kick life in the balls.For those who missed the tag that I've posted stating the lost of my mobile phone, do tag/email/msn/friendster/facebook/whatever me your phone number.
I'm not asking. So do it. Now.
*Smiles*
Anyway there are tons of pictures to upload and scores more to blog about. But patience young one. All in due time.
Till I've procrastinated enough to blog, take care mates!
FUNKED IT ALL UP ON 11:34:00 PM
Friday, July 11, 2008
So I guess this will be the customarily morbid last post that'll I'll always post before I go off the grid.Be it I step on land mine in Vietnam and blow myself to smithereens or get gutted in some dark alleyway in Thailand by a gang of transvesites and left to die in some refuse choked gutter, these are the things that I wouldn't do even so:
1) Transfer whatever pitiful money I have left to you.
2) Name you the benificery to my *Inserts Smigel's voice* preciousssssss DVD collection.
3) Donate to you my kidneys, cornea and even testicles be it upon my long overdued demise.
But there is one actual perk that'll benifit you greedy gits should I make it back in one piece and kicking.
You'll get souvenirs!
Why wait? Pray for my safety now!
Till then, take care mates and try not to choke on your meals. Really.
FUNKED IT ALL UP ON 11:19:00 AM
Thursday, July 10, 2008
The hustle and bustle at work has died down ever since the absence of a particular frustratingly tedious inspection that reccurs 4 out of 5 a workweek. Blood boiling chore really.But now with all that free time and pent up boredom up my sleeve, you wouldn't be supprised if you see what I did.
A replica of what I drew on the whiteboard at work. Looks mafia-ish so I related it to Analyse That. Originally named Porkfathers after Godfathers.
From the morons who brought you 'Bar Wars', 'The Hock' & 'Hairy Porker'
comes the next Oscar winning epic production - Analyze Fat
New York Times - "Stunning."
Straits Times - "The absolute best."
The Communist Times - "非常很好看."
The Opposition Times - "Mr Lee why is Mr Chee in Jail?!"
Hahaha! Markers - $2, time spent on nonsensical doodling - $6, the look on my superiors' face - Priceless!
Here's the visual aid for you clueless people about my sense of parodic humor. What can I say? I plead guilty to lameness.
Analyze Fat.
Bar Wars.
The Hock.
Hairy Porker.
FUNKED IT ALL UP ON 11:07:00 AM
Monday, July 07, 2008
She's a close buddy that I have but whom you seldom heard me mention about (Sorry I'm abit possessive of my candid friend here.).But I guess its time to drop the veil of secrecy (If any.) and present to you the friend that I'm quite fond of.
She's the babe on the left. Oh and I filch the photo from her friendster, but I know you're not gonna rat on me, are you?
She who has been tangled up in my life ever since that first year in secondary school, both a great listening ear as well as a delicious eye candy, the one and only Mingfen!
*Roaring applause*
I know you're all choking from the excessive drama. But as usual, I don't give a shite.
The question as to why I suddenly brought her up would be one which is fairly simple to explain.
She have just got back from a long vacation spent bouncing all over Europe. Maybe because I'm such a wonderful friend (Right.), we met up a couple of days after her return and she pass me one of the many different souvenirs she bought for all her good friends.
Armed with a rugged charm.
Tada! It's a funky looking felt/suede cap that she bought from Amsterdam, the land of legal vices! Ain't it cool or what!? One more cap for my collection!
Remember, if you ever go for a vacation, buy me a souvenir or don't even bother coming back! =)
FUNKED IT ALL UP ON 11:46:00 AM
Saturday, July 05, 2008
The definitive metrosexual activity (In my honest opinion.) you've all heard I partook in but never really caught me doing it with your own two eyes.Well here it is so do read your eyes out.
The appointment was set at 6.30pm and it was at Bouna Vista MRT station that I would meet up with my partner in crime. In this case it was my sis.
We do look alike don't we?
A stray thought that came to mind which I've lazily noted is that perhaps this is the only other thing I did with any members of my family besides the annual pain-of-an-ass Chinese New Year house visits.
But you're not interested in the lack of family bonding, are you?
Anyway as the ever current Singapore culture dictates, my sis was late as usual and we started off in a hurried pace soon after her arrival. It was a moderately long walk that made my legs ache just thinking about it. But on the otherhand, the distance ain't that long which made the further taking of any public transport a tad too silly.
So we walked.
Practicing my "in extreme pain" look.
Meaningless small talk tried to fill up the globules of silence that oozes out between people with very different minds while our feets made good time with the distance. A good quarter of an hour passed and we've reach our destination.
A familiar sight for you Holland V goers.
Well this is it. Ground zero.
Laughed my lungs out!
The joint.
Of course I was talking about my eyebrow trimming session. What were you thinking about?
No I'm not gay. Don't deny it 'cause its all your look is telling me. (Yes I have a spycam in your room and I know you're butt naked while reading this.)
Okay I don't have all night so let's just move on.
Located on the 3rd story of this urbanistically edgy shophouse lie a simply furnished salon with an puzzling high count of staff. Cordially one of the staff asked for our names and proceeded with assigning one of their "brow architects" to us.
Quizzally, whilst there were six employees in the joint, only one was attending to us with my sis taking a seat on the rack and me seated behind a partition, awaiting for my share of pain.
And what was the other five buggers doing? Three of those pretty loafers sat behind the counter while the other two gorgous slackers drifted in and out of its adjoining rooms, all seemingly contented in doing nothing in particular! What the fuck?
It was a place filled with bums and I'm felt terribly at home. Hahahaha...
Some 20 minutes later, my sis was up with a slightly satisfied look as she checked out her trimmed brow and I knew I was up next. Awkwardly I got off my butt warmed seat and drag myself over to the rack and I lie there rather quietly, awaiting in anticipation of the impending pain.
The chair of insufferable pain.
Pain did come as hands belonging to the pretty face of the brow architect went to work. At first it was all just dull tugging pain as the upper portion of my brow got plucked and so I just lie there with a smug smile as I took the manageable pain all in my stride. It was only until when she move on the to lower portion of my brow that the real torture began.
My face started to twitch every now and then as a couple of more stubbornly entrenched hair on the brow resisted her efforts a couple of times too many and I guess evident sharp pain flickered on a constant basis across my face.
Despite all that pain, lassitude surprisingly fell upon me. I'd reckon it was in part by the day's wearing (I did came after work you know.) and in part by the sensually calming fragrance wore by the brow architect (She smelled heavenly in such close proximity). It wasn't soon that the pain fell away and I lost track of time.
I couldn't say whether it was an hour or just a mere minute that past but when I awoke and she presented me with a mirror, I saw that I was then the proud owner of a neatly trimmed eyebrow!
A quaint little cafe inside the salon.
Groomed.
I would agree that perhaps a guy indulging in brow trimming is a tad too much for my taste. But I guess that the need for some manner of personal grooming, especially one with a serious case of singlehood as I do, somehow overwhelmed that gnawing fear of the public ridicule that accompanies such vanity.
They say good guys(I'm a good guy 'cause I ain't got vices! Really!) finish last. But I say its either that or they don't finish at all. I know for certain that no one is gonna help me get hooked up with my future wife if I don't help myself at all.
Well, at least I had the balls to admit it. Where's yours?
FUNKED IT ALL UP ON 4:45:00 AM