Monday, June 30, 2008

It was the time of the month again when my fuzzball of a hair needs to be trim like a bonsai tree.

There's only one thing you can say when an afro hairdo is coupled with a French skinny mustache. Sexy!

So I bounced on over to the neighborhood hair saloon and while seated in one of those swivel chairs waiting for my turn, I saw a new face walking my way with a pair of scissors in hand.

The thought that ran through my mind was "Oh great(Oozing with sarcasm.)! I'm gonna be the training piece for the new chick."

Pardon my indifference to the result of my haircut. It really couldn't get any worse than being butt ugly. LOL and guess what?

Fuck you!

If you thought for a moment I'd wallow in self pity, you really had that coming.

On a serious note, my philosophy when it comes to hair and the subsequent hairdo that follows, is that as long as you don't get shave bald like a monk, you're still within redemption.

The mainstream hairstyles nowadays is somewhat of a controlled mess so more or less any manner of cut is acceptable provided your hair has enough length, mass and tons of wax.

Side's a cap would suffice some manner of vanity these days in the case of anyone of those "oops" shaves or accidental runaway shaver disaster.

So snip and snip she went with her brow creased in concentration while I sat there reading a Lao Fu Zi comic(I'm just sticking with traditions here.), occasionally looking up with a faint amount of amusement, all the while noting that she kept triming over and over the areas that she's been through before.

Suprisingly it ended up looking like this.

Without the inmense weight of my mane, I can now live my life with my head up!

Not too shabby eh? On to the next disaster in life!

FUNKED IT ALL UP ON 1:34:00 PM

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

This was the first time that I've went on a deliberately planned outing with my mates at work. Considering that we've know one another for slightly over 2 years, I would say that the trip had a long time coming.

Everything kick started on the wrong foot. The trip to town felt close to awkwardness as the conversation was seemingly dry. Even the usual bantering which is a common remedy for such uncomfortable situations, was screeching with friction.

Well that's what happens when you try to rojak people with vastly different character together on a short notice.

Anyway the trip there didn't take too long and soon we were on our way to Lucky Plaza to meet up with Master Mervin, a fellow NDI specialist from Changi.

Really only use for 1 time meh?

Trying for fit.

Apparently Ruilong was gonna buy a pair of scuba goggles from him as well as buying another pair as birthday gift for Xueting.

By the time we reach the meeting place, Master Mervin was already there on the scene. Introductions were more than brief even though Ah Tok has never really met the guy before, both their disinterest in knowing one another were hanging so thick in the air that I would have choked if not for the hastening of Master Mervin.

We made our way into a shop that I supposed Master Mervin frequents and aided Ruilong along with the shopkeeper in choosing the pair of suitable goggles for Xueting.

All about sucba diving and more!.

It took quite awhile thus leaving me and Ah Tok to our own shenanigans. I started taking our my camera more than it was socially accepted, only to find that Ah Tok surprisingly approving of my quirk and posing for me!

One can see that great effort and thoughts had been put behind the naming of the shop. Not.

Wannabe diver.

Pufferfish with a pair of goggles?

Wow a nice fit! And the colour suits him as well!

Even a shopping Ruilong cannot resist making fun of Ah Tok.

The choosing and the subsequent haggling were kept to a minimal and before me and Ah Tok's can make our way to the dumber spectrum of poses, the purchase was made and Master Mervin had to go.

Feeling satisfied and extremely hungry, Ruilong, Ah Tok and me wandered the floors of Lucky Plaza for a suitable place to have more than just a bite.

A picture with the boogeyman.

I think my looks scares even the boogeyman.

I can sell you my own homemade one at just $1!

Yummy!

Having accomplishing the main agenda of the trip which was the buying of the birthday gift, we made our way to Taka to do a little shopping of our own.

First stop was to Kinokuniya where Ah Tok bought a Jap fashion magazine of some sort while me and Ruilong went about flipping through ripped open comics.

Ah Tok wanders what the fuck were the cashiers doing!?

No really it was already ripped when we got there. Oh shut your face.

Next stop was pretty unexpected as we stepped into a art gallery. At first glance one would thought that various artwork would at most cost not beyond a few thousands, given our gauge of their standard. And like what they say about first glances, all of our guess were wrong!

The cheapest shite in there was at least a whopping five thousand tagged to a queer stool? What the fuck is wrong with artist and rich people?

We did however took a long look see around the joint before walking out in slight awe at some very artistic piece but more in disgust at their prices.

The place where I met Eléonore.

Then it was to Gramophone for me with some DVD shopping long overdued. My mind was having a wrestling match of its own as I couldn't decide whether to buy Jumper with lensitopic cover or the special edition The American Gangster. On top of which I was going to buy Juno and Cashback which totals up to around a hundred.

Ouch says the wallet.

My proud additions to my collections.

Cool or what!?

In the end I dump the idea of buying both Jumper and The American Gangster and stuck to Juno and Cashback instead.

If judgment day should come and god asks me what are my thoughts about wasting my life buying and watching dvd, my answer would be "life well spent!".

There's no use in reasoning with me. I know.

Anyway being so conveniently close the Papa Bread, I couldn't resist but drag the rest over and stuff my face with a chocolate éclair! Incidentally, it rouse the sated hunger just abit and compelled the rest to satisfy their sin of a glutton with Ruilong buying yogurt (Yucks!) and Ah Tok buying some Tori-Q for everybody.

Hands filled with all sorta food, we crossed a short but crowded distance into cold storage. Eating and and laughing nonsensically at the same time, we spent some time in there and did some small time grocery shopping, buying a little of this and a little of that. And of course, taking pictures whenever socially possible.

Posing with wry faces.

We act as though it was any good.

Which we thought not!

One big bowl of Jap instant noodles cost this much.

But how come both the smaller ones cost as much!?

I'm a trifle bit embarrassed to say this but after we concluded the shopping minute spree at Cold Storage, we agreed that it was time to rest our legs somewhere we could sit down and chit chat for abit. Thus we popped over to Pepper Lunch which was kinda the only place with seats still free from the Saturday throng.

In order to get in and sit, one would have to either be extremely thick skin to just buy a drink or side dish (Or maybe even not.) and take up the well needed space or one could order a set meal just eat like what every other sucker was doing. Having good upbringing made us incline towards to the latter and so, we ate again.

I know I'm getting horizontally enlarged. Tell me about it.

At least try not to droll on yourself.

I was bored.

Somehow or another, the topic of getting a drink at Chevron dropped into our conversation and was slightly enthusiastic agreed upon in a short manner of time. I largely suspect it has got to do with someone feeling a wee bit depress over some matters of the heart.

But I ain't gonna discuss it with you.

Again we boarded the train bound for our next destination. Looking back at the day that came to be so far, I've noticed that the seams that seperate us so contrastingly and cause us such awkwardness were hardly evident any longer. The feeling in the air then was like a couple of old friends(Not literally you dope.) getting together.

The traveling time fled in the face of tons of bantering and its consequential laughter and before we know it, we were at Chevron, drinking up a storm.

Happiness in pints!

Cheers!

Supprisingly a couple of other people whom we know turned up there as well. Talk about conincidence. I guess cheap karaoke couple with likewise beer is a lethal marketing combination.

I see Louis at work and now I even see him outside of it. There is just no escaping from him.

That bugger Dom was stalking me.

I guess nowadays stalking is a group activity 'cause Carol was there too!

My recollection of that night is somewhat hazy but I did remember blabbering alot. What did I actually said was hard to say. I just hope I didn't offend too many people with my crudely truthful speech.

Words of wisdom. With enough beer, any night could be a great night! Till the next drink, tata!

FUNKED IT ALL UP ON 11:14:00 AM

Friday, June 20, 2008

Everything began as innocently as any ordinary late night birthday BBQ was expected to be. Guests, both conspirators as well as the victims, streamed in by pairs and and got the BBQ started.

The two disgustingly loving lovebirds.

Sandra and her bitch of a Thomas. Hahaha..

Dom and Carol hitting the scene.

Our long lost brudders, Sam and Weisheng!

Victims-to-be. Smile you suckers! Wuhahaha..

The start of a very long and awfully messy night for the intended, and a wickedly fun night for rest.

*Insert sinister laughter*

Hot dogs crisped while prawns in aluminum foil bubbled in their marinates and sweet potatoes toasted amongst the glowing hot charcoal. Soon cooked and overcooked (Norm in any of our BBQs. ) food filled and mingled on plates, only for a moment or two before being gulped down by some hungry buggers who just eat but never cook.

A hungry mob raids the table of food.

Who needs a lighter when you've got red hot charcoal!

Don't feint ignorance and look around. Every soul knows that when I say "hungry buggers who just eat but never cook", I meant you two, Gimo and Wanyi! Wuahahaha..

Though it was I who wouldn't let them cook their own shite as they were the birthday peeps. But still isn't a good enough reason to stop blaming them, right?!

Soon all that were supposed to be there were there and with no further delay (As well as no more food to BBQ!) the cake was secretly taken out of Dom's car boot. Its candles were then lit and its bearer marched a stately pace towards the the two dumbshites who were smiling in both beaming delight and feint surprise, all whilst the ever traditional "Happy Birthday" song were sung.

A combined celebration calls for a combined cake.

Gimo: Eee! Your hand got wash or not?

Gimo: Okay lah I also didn't wash mine.

Sausage fest!!!

Gal power!

Spot the extra.

Wanyi: I wish for a uber rich and dashing boyfriend!
Us: Eh you already got 1 and he's super rich and dashing lor!
Wanyi: Oh my god!!! My wish came true!
Us:...

Gimo: How I wish my friends would stuff freezing cold ice cubes down my pants.

Dom never ever lets such weird wishes go unrealised.

All this seemingly pleasant and joyous facade of a celebration conjured by us schemers were to lure the two unfortunate victims into sedation, paving way for the highlight of our day (And the rock bottom for theirs).

In a smooth and practiced-like move, the bags of flour which was initially stowed away from plain sight was brought out into open, much to the maniacal joy of many. Empty hands soon dipped in the ripped bags and out came hands clasped around loose flour. In that same few moments, the faces of the intended showcased an amazing myriad of emotions, starting from shocked to dreaded anticipation and ultimately settling at that of resignation.

From what initially started as a campaign against the two birthday peeps soon degraded into random and opportunistic pelting of flour, smashing of cake and splashing of beer onto one another, making sludge sculptures out of both conspirator and victim alike.

But the beer's innocent!

Top 3 casualties!

As with every mess comes the inevitable and much dreaded cleaning up, a point proven by the apparent dragging of celebrants' beer soaked feet across the flour speckled grass towards the toilet.

Beer definitely helps the situation. Alot.

Ambush!

Why me!? *Flees*

For those of you dumbshites who thought the worse was over the moment the last can of beer was splashed and last grasp of flour was thrown, you seriously deserve the title thou bestowed upon thee.

Even our beloved Wanyi can tell you that flour coupled with almost any liquid always produces agonizingly sticky results. And just to make matter worst, fudgey chocolate cake was thrown in (Literally.) for good measure!

And to think I endearingly call Wanyi idiot. So what does that make you, especially since my sentiments doesn't really stretch that far as to include you?

Lets leave it at that shall we?

Anyway the end of the celebration was still far off into the night and any putting off of the cleaning almost guarantees as much ridicule as discomfort in the wee hours to come.

Driven by the nagging urge to rid their bodies of the sticky goo, the celebrants went about the cleaning expediently. Some were tearing off paper towels and wiping their cake smeared while others washed off flour powdered heads under running facets.

Unfortunately for the latter, water did little to remove the hardened globules of dough stuck onto the hair, other than wetting their heads and everything else beneath them. Brute force in pulling those hardened lumps on the otherhand proved only marginally better, except that all who attempted gave up, evidently overwhelmed by the sheer amount of lumps as well as tremendous pain in removing each one.

All she needs a rake and some industrial strength solvent. And a wig after she's through with them.

One look at them and you know they're asking for more!

Gimo: OUCH!

All in all, I would say that the choice in using flour was a good one!

The subsequent pace of the celebration followed a lazier beat as all that effort in fleeing and chasing finally caught up with us. Luckily for them the inevitability was well taken into account during planning. With a grin, we produced out a pack of cards and played our all time kelong favorite, HEART ATTACK!

Perhaps you may think we're childish, but I am sure as hell not giving a shite as to what you think. *Grins*

Lets RUMBLE!

Actually she smells heavenly but that's no reason to not pose with a sickened face.

Fucked up people who deserve each other.

Smack and smack we went, punctuated with the occasional yelps of pain from some unfortunate soul getting their hand whacked into too crimson a hue and of course, who can forget the howls of laughter from the rest who escaped.

But the night wore on and lassitude eventually crept up on all of us, smothering our focus at the game and seeded thoughts of home and bed in all of us. But years of friendship has taught us one thing, and that is to never ever let any birthday peeps get away without first stomaching the traditional Birthday Cocktail!

Acting like an idiot. Oh wait, I am.

Already grinning away even before they suffer.

Weisheng: Such a small bottle only!?

Even our peace loving Carol showed no mercy!

The finale of the entire celebration came in the form of a toast made by Wanyi and Gimo to the celebrants and accompanied by a symphony of jeers, cheers and laughter, they bravely gulp down the concoction. With the wry gagging face that followed their struggled swallow comes the end of their birthday party.