Monday, October 06, 2008
So I finally gotten around to clear up my inbox. 700++ unread mails isn't really what you want greeting you following the customary *ding* every time MSN boots up.
Not kidding ya.
So bracing myself for a tedious session of yawn invoking byte packing, I cracked my knuckles and bravely went through my mail. My determination and discipline in reading each and every single mail was probably as unyielding as Playdough, so it wasn't long before I began randomly clicking and mass deleting every mail in sight.
Steal me steal, say that you'll steal me?
I think it takes it as a personal affront whenever anyone uses "screw you".
Remember kids, its rude to die without cleaning your tables!
How men and women work.
Fashionista!
All hail Spongebob, Lord of... erm... Porosity?
Andy Lau even invades kiddy cartoon time! Talk about brainwashing them young, eh?
During those many a mindless minute spent alternating between reading mails with passably interesting titles and deleting those ostentatious computer generated ones, 1 particular title caught my mind.
What followed next was possibly the loudest and hardest I've laughed in months.
Wait till you read this shite. I bet you'll be rolling over in laughter. I know I did.
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Hey XXX,
I know this email is brimming with insincerity as well as bordering on being bothersome. Maybe its the lack of confidants to listen to me, maybe I don't really have that much to say to anyone anyway. But still I have to get it out of my system.
I bet you might have guess you're the person I've been in love for the past decade. You didn't know!? Oh my god, the cat is outta the bag! Someone call SPCA!!! Hahahaha...
First things first. I really have to apologise for my alternate periods of attention and inattention towards you. I must admit that main reason is that I read too much into the things you do as well as stuff you say. Some spur me on, fanning my hope to a greater blaze, driving me to do some hopelessly inane stuff. Others on the other hand dash my hope like some pesky housefly, making me wanting to give up entirely.
Brainlessly though, I'll always arrive at the conclusion that if I keep staying in your life, someday you'll fall for me.
I know, I know. It's damn silly of me. But still I'm secretly an addict to hope despite my pessimistic take on life. Don't tell anyone okay? I have a reputation to maintain. =p
Anyway I decided sometime ago that after you've come back from XXX and I've come back from XXX that I'll tell you how I truely feel. In part I was hopping that a straight denial in the face would rescue me from this endless loop of loving and giving up. Of course there exist that small part of me hoping you might be drunk/crazy/sleepy enought that day and agree to be my girlfriend.
The words that I was planning to say were:
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I know that this is gonna be awkward for you. But still I have to make you go through this.
I've been in love with you for donkey years. It is without doubt that someone like you will inevitably get married and maybe even sooner than you think. I do not want to live with the regret of not even trying to make you mine.
I know you're still in love with XXX XXX. I'm know I can't and I'm not trying to replace him. But all I ask is for you to give me a shot. Maybe it might work out, maybe it might not. But at least I can say for a fact that I will try my hardest to put a smile on your face each and every day we're together.
Just let me take care of you, from now till the next better guy comes along?
Be my girlfriend?
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Despite the fact that its a trifle bit too late to be saying them, these words belong to you anyway.
It is without hope or agenda that I've send you this.
Your friend forever
XXX
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WHAT THE FUCK, right?! What kinda loser would compose this garbage!?
Incidentally, it was me.
LOL!
(The writer of this entry feels he's so funny, he often laughs at himself.)
FUNKED IT ALL UP ON 9:22:00 PM