Friday, August 15, 2008
I was writhing from outrage by the time credits rolled for the first Singapore produced crap of a movie, "Money Not Enough 2".
Save yourself the agony and waste your life on some other bullshite.
First as in amongst so many films directed and written by Singaporeans, this is the only overwhelming disappointment so far, you doofus.
Ugly comments punctuated with ample and not to mention colorful vulgarities hung on the very edge of my lip like a brooding avalanche, promising to bury all within earshot with enough swear words to last a (Maybe even 2. Yes I was that pissed) lifetime. However, civility as it seems, demands that I rant in private, with perhaps a few tolerating close friends and unfortunate members of the family.
Let me say for the record that my fishwife-like proficiency in cursing was not achieved in manners of days, but rather the proud cumulation of years studiously spent as an understudy under my master of a dad.
Anyway, the distaste in my mouth grew so unbearable that it ripped away whatever shred of decorum holding my tongue in check, prematurely setting off my tirade even before me and Gimo reach Mac which was a mere 50 paces away.
Fervently wielding my decent vocabulary of vulgarities which such grace that would put most of our revered veterans to shame, I let fly with all the emotions invoked and thoughts induced at poor Gimo, telling him at a tediously long length at how bad I thought the show was.
3 Major Reasons to fuck it like there's no tomorrow:
1) STOP FUCKING VICTIMIZING THEIR MOTHER!!! Shoving down our throats your warped version of filial irreverence isn't gonna get people to empathies with you, and most definitely not gonna pat you on the back and say "Well done, you.".
What is wrong with sending an elderly bereft of the ability to control of certain bodily function as well as having a few nuts loose up in the head to an old folks home when one cannot afford the time or lack the fortitude to take care of them?
Would they rather the elderlies endure stares laced with thinly veiled contempt stem from their mentally over-stretched guardians and not to mention all the while wallowing in their own lonesome company?
And what's that about denouncing the sons as unfilial bastards when its obvious between saving an old lady already living on borrowed time on the verge of crossing over and saving her own youthful grand daughter who lies dying on some operating table.
Congratufuckalations. You got my point. Or their lack of one.
Carpark Attendent: Eh your movie is so lousy I have to give you a summon.
Hui Ge: Wah lao! A summon!? $*@&! I see like a heap on my car lor! Got toilet paper, diapers and even durian shell!
Carpark Attendent: I'm not the only one that thinks it sucks lor.
2) STOP FUCKING ADVERTISING. I know you need sponsorship to make the filming possible. But at least try not smacking us with it in my face. Your ostentatious attempts made the entire experience even more distasteful if it is entirely possible. Which was not.
Rock bottom is really the lowest end of the vertical scale.
Hui Ge: Die liao lor. My wife and children threw me out after watching the movie.
Lee Guo Huang: You like that call jialat? %&$# My wife tried to stab me 1/2 way through the show lor.
Liang Zhi Qiang: Kao bei lah. Box office so low still wanna talk so much.
3) LEARN TO FUCKING TELL A STORY. The jokes by themselves show much creativity and insight, tickling one's humor gland in a rather pleasing manner. However when they're all thrown in together, the entire story became segmented.
Abrupt beginnings and ends were flying in all direction as a multi phased joke interrupts the primary story with only the most remote connection to the current scene at that point of time.
It steadily progresses into its many subsequent phases but comes to a sudden screeching halt which is shortly followed by the resumption of the main storyline once more.
10 minutes or so later, after you've find yourself once again flowing with the story, another such joke pops in out of the blue and completely throws whatever inkling as to the direction of plot out the window.
How can one ingest a plot that is unrevealed in such a chunky manner without choking on it?
How they themselves looked after watching the movie they starred in.
All in all, I can only square my shoulders, take in a deep breath and say "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo.... oooo... ooo ... oo... o... *Gasp for breath*".
P.S. The blogger is a very opinionated lad that somehow developed a personal grudge against the film. Bottomline is, he really really really hates that movie.
FUNKED IT ALL UP ON 12:14:00 AM